Humans of Pearson: Bellona Lin

Written by: Naoreen Kabir – Grade 11

bellonalinedit2

Do you have any goals for this year?

“I wanna learn how to play the guitar. Play it well. Maybe try learning how to beatbox too.”

Why the guitar, of all instruments?

“I like the sound of it. I guess it gives me comfort in some sort of sense.”

Would you sing too?

“I can’t sing!”

Have you talked to your parents about getting guitar lessons?

“I kind of want to self teach and see what level I can take myself to.”

How does it feel to be in grade 11 now?

“I feel like I’m in grade 7. I still feel like I’m little.”

Why is that?

“I don’t know. I feel dumb. And people are taller than me. It’s surreal, that I’m already in grade 11. I’m graduating next year. But mainly, I think it’s because of how I take in my surroundings. I kind of in some way prevent myself from growing, not just physically, but mentally.”

Is there anything you’re excited about, about being an adult?

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but, drinking alcohol. I get to drive by myself too.”

When you were a little kid, did you have any expectations about being a teenager, or what you thought high school would be like?

“I thought it’d be so cool! I was like, I can’t wait to be a teenager! I’m gonna have so much fun, I’m gonna be on the soccer team, in the badminton team, and then I’m going to be in track and field and all that stuff. I’m going to be playing instruments, and I’m going to have a lot of new friends. And it’s gonna be really cool, and you’re gonna look cool.

I thought that I would have no worries. No one’s going to pester you about things like making sure you stick out your hand before and while crossing the road, or telling you to come home before four, or even what you’re allowed to buy or not, like junk food. I just thought I would have a simple view on things, like how most kids do.”

bellonalinedit1Then that wasn’t the reality?

“Once you’re actually a teenager, you kinda wish that you would be able to go back in time and be worry free. There’s good things to being a teenager, like you get a lot of things you have freedom over, but there’s still a lot of cons that come with it too. You think about a lot more things, and of course, there’s so much more responsibility to being a teenager. At least for me, that’s how it seems.”

 

Is there anything you expect about being an adult?

“I guess it gives you a sense of maturity, and more freedom. But I don’t know, I just expect it to be a lot harder. You have to make decisions on your own. Nobody’s going to be watching over you. They can give their opinion on your choices, but they can’t force you into a certain way.”

Is there anything about you that would surprise your younger self?

“Well, I kind of didn’t expect that I would become lazy, because I used to be more athletic. There’s this one thing, though. Near the end of elementary school, I gained a lot of confidence because I made a lot of friends. I kind of overwhelmed myself with this feeling, and that’s why I got a bit ahead of myself all the time. I didn’t care what others thought about me.

I wouldn’t be constantly worrying about if someone is judging me by my simple action of walking, as I do now. I realized that it was sort of “wrong” to have gained my confidence through that type of feeling that I had, so I lost a lot of that confidence, and I became really antisocial. So now, I worry too much, I always overreact, and I’m overdramatic. I never thought I’d become someone who’s always confused with themselves.”

You didn’t try out for any sports last year?

“I can’t even run! But I’m planning on joining field hockey. Maybe by January, I’ll be running on a treadmill to prepare myself.”

How do you plan on using your freedom as an adult, other than drinking alcohol?

“Getting a tattoo, and… I’d probably participate in a lot more things. Things like protests, and activities of some sort that promote bringing everyone closer to one another.”

Do you think children have a sort of freedom too?

“When you’re a little kid, well, I might not be making sense, but they have more of a mental kind of freedom. Most little kids don’t think of things like, “Oh what if they’re judging me, blah blah blah.” They just do their thing. They seem so worry free. They get that kind of freedom, because they’re not old enough to think about all this stuff yet. Well, they are, but they don’t think about it.”

Do you know what you want to be when you’re older?

“Something related to the sky, or the Earth.  Like an astronomer, but I didn’t take physics, so I can’t anymore. Or a geologist.”bellonalinedit3

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